Why You Need to See a Ladyboy Cabaret In Chiang Mai, Thailand

Thailand is known for many things. Temples, street food, gorgeous beaches…and ladyboys. One of the more popular attractions in Thailand is the ladyboy cabaret. This should be the top of your Thai nightlife bucket list.

In March 2019, we were based in Chiang Mai while on Remote Year and got to see a ladyboy cabaret. We were given a special Q and A with the performers about an hour before the show. This was an educational, enlightening and moving experience to the reality of life as a kathoey in Thailand. 

While these shows are world class entertainment, they are also so much more than that. Before attending this show, I didn’t understand what a ladyboy, or kathoey, really was. The popular depiction of kathoeys in the media is as drag queens, who are typically prostitutes.

You’d be hard-pressed to see a comedy where the characters go to Thailand and there isn’t some encounter with a “ladyboy prostitute.” The lead male finds out this beautiful Thai woman is actually a “man,” and “hilarity” ensues. As we are understanding today, this is a very inappropriate and inaccurate depiction of reality and sends a harmful message. 

What is a Ladyboy?

The reality is that Ladyboy’s or “Kathoeys” in Thai, essentially means transgender. Kathoeys are a huge part of the Thai community. Their existence alone has received strong international attention.

Kathoeys have gained foreign attention for the wrong reasons: sexual exploitation and fetishization. Kathoeys are not just Thai prostitutes for the western male’s “crazy Thai experience.” They are simply transgender women, in Thailand. 

Although they may have a stronger hold in mainstream Thai culture than transgender people do in many other cultures; they still struggle deeply for equality and acceptance. Outside of Bangkok, it is still very taboo to be transgender in Thailand.

Despite Chiang Mai gaining recognition as the next hot spot in Thailand, it’s still more traditional than Bangkok. The kathoey who live here are not exactly free to be themselves in all aspects of their life.

Struggling for Equality

We learned that one of the women was a school teacher, and could not legally be her true gender in the classroom. Every day, she still went to work as a man, in order to keep her job. Her true identity and job as a performer at the cabaret was still a secret. She lives in fear that she will be “found out” and lose her job as a result.

Some of the women explained that although they are allowed to marry, they aren’t granted the same legal rights and protection. She also explained that Thailand doesn’t recognize them as any other gender but their assigned gender. They are still legally considered men.

Which means, in a country where the draft is still a thing, they can be drafted. The environment in the army for transgender women is much like the one we know in the states. It’s extremely abusive and dangerous to be in that situation. As one woman explained, we may think that kathoey are just out and proud, but “when a ladyboy is raped, no one cares.”

Thailand may seem like there’s an open, vibrant, and accepting transgender community to the outsider, but it is still a deeply religious and conservative country. This means that outside of the major cities, much like in the U.S., kathoey aren’t exactly welcomed with open arms. Many of the women we met are estranged from their families. Many wondered if they would ever find love and acceptance for who they were. And as mentioned prior, many were still unable to find legal and well-paying jobs, or be open with their employers.

Our understanding of kathoey as “exotic prostitutes” is harmful, offensive, and degrading. It’s also just wrong. This is why I think it’s so important for us tourists to experience a true Ladyboy cabaret. It’s one of the few ways we can support kathoey while in Thailand.

So What is a Ladyboy Cabaret?

The Ladyboy Cabaret is one of the few places where transgender women can be themselves, openly, and accepted. It’s also one of the few fair, and legal employment options for kathoey to be themselves. When you support a Ladyboy cabaret, you are supporting the women there. You are also in for a true experience.

The talent. The beauty. The comedy. The show was one of the best performances I’ve ever seen. The one we saw in Chiang Mai was located inside the major night bazaar, Anusarn Market. For a very affordable price, our ticket also included a drink. You can take pictures and videos the whole night. This is incredible because the performances were top-notch. If you want to meet the performers and take photos, you can, but you do need to tip them. 

Be warned: if you’re sitting in the front row of the intimate venue you will definitely get some attention. If you’re a male, you will for sure receive a spotlight from the performers. Please be open and willing if you’re going to attend the show. Our friends got pulled up on stage for some very personal dances, as well as receiving a lap dance from their seats. It’s all extremely good-natured and fun. I would totally still take my parents to this. 

The acts range from Rhianna and Beyonce songs. There are also full-on showgirl sequences to lap dances to Cyndi Lauper perfomances.

By the end, we were all laughing, in awe, and let’s be honest, a little bit teary-eyed. I left that show feeling very happy and hopeful. You could see that the performers felt just as joyful as we did.

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